A Valentine to the Child
On a little painted tile hanging outside my office at Bozeman Montessori, there is a handmade sign with one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Maria Montessori: The child is a well-spring of love. These words hold an important meaning to teachers in our pedagogical tradition. As we approach Valentine’s Day each year, we are reminded of this special ethos within Montessori’s message. And in spending our days with young children, it’s hard not to feel the love–their love, every day. Their trust in us, their tender hugs and hand-drawn hearts–none of it would we ever want to miss.
Children need love to thrive like flowers need rain. The love and forgiveness they share with us and the love that inspires our guidance of them in return, becomes a delicate and beautiful flow.
Montessori was one of the first educational pioneers to champion the importance of love in the care and education of young children. Her writings have encouraged aspiring teachers for more than a century–and for good reason. Of course, you won’t find anything about sticker charts or academic competitions in Montessori’s writings. But you will hear a lot about love.
In the final chapter of her seminal book, The Absorbent Mind, Montessori writes,
Let us try to comprehend the nature of love. …. If we want to produce harmony in the world, it is clear that we ought to think more about this. We should study its implications. The child is the only point on which there converges from everyone a feeling of gentleness and love. People’s souls soften and sweeten when one speaks of children; the whole of mankind shares in the deep emotions which they awaken. The child is a well-spring of love. Whenever we touch the child, we touch love.
She goes on to attempt to define this energy, but adds, “no one can describe its roots, or evaluate the immense consequences which flow from it, or gather up its potency for union between men.” She noted that religious leaders, poets, and philosophers converge around the idea that love has the power to transform, heal and elevate the human heart along a path towards harmony, peace, and unity.
Montessori’s unique understanding of the true nature of children unveiled among many other qualities, their profound capacity for love. Love that includes caring for others as well as the world around them. As children develop their abilities, they grow to care for their environment—not as a chore, but as a joy! As we see them want to mop up a spill alongside us, or water a plant or feed a pet–we understand that as evidence of their motivation not only to be an active participant in their world, but also to leave their own imprint upon it.
“Love is not the cause but the effect,” Montessori wrote in her book The Secret of Childhood, “…and this love fills the child’s consciousness and affects his self-realization.”
As they mature, this foundation prepares the way sensitivities of being in ways that foster growth at school, and later in their careers and chosen work. And If modern education evolves into becoming a true preparation for life, doesn’t this ring true?
As we prepare to celebrate another Valentine’s Day–we are not just talking about romantic love. We are talking about the force of empathy and generosity of spirit that inspires the best qualities in all of us–compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, and kindness. When we sing songs with the children that celebrate love, we are celebrating the delicate unfoldment of their love in the world. Hearts and kindness chains, valentines and home-baked sweets represent more than a passing holiday. They symbolize the glue that holds communities together.
As we contemplate the many gifts of the Montessori method, above all else, love really is the most potent.
Fun ideas for Valentine’s Day to do with children of all ages:
Make heart-shaped pancakes or pink oatmeal with strawberries for breakfast.
Tuck a little love note into your child’s backpack.
Cut out hearts in red, pink, or white paper and put them up in your front window with your little ones.
Mix up some homemade bath salts together with rose essential oil, dried rose petals and fill little sachet bags or reused little glass jars to give as gifts–or enjoy in your own tub!
Help your child sign or write a valentine to mail away to a loved one. Let them pick out a stamp, maybe add a sticker or hand-drawn image to the envelope, and walk to the mailbox together so your child can slip it into the mail slot.
Make a special dinner celebrating red: mix beets, tomatoes, radishes or bell peppers into your salad, serve pasta with marinara, strawberries for dessert, and hibiscus tea. Let your child arrange some flowers into a vase as a centerpiece, dim the overhead lights, light candles, and put on some music! I used to play a collection of favorite arias from operas and chat with my kids about all the different kinds of love songs people like to sing.
Sing some of your favorite love songs together like Skidamarink or Magic Penny.
Make a love jar: ask your child to write down different things that make them feel loved on slips of paper. Ideas might include going sledding together, a soak at the hot springs, a long hug, snuggle time on the couch, an extra book to read together before bed at night, picking out a bouquet of mixed flowers at the grocery store together to bring home. Fold up the slips of paper and place them into a large glass jar. Later, your child can pull a slip from the jar at the time you decide upon together. This might be on a special day of the week, when they are having a particularly tough day, or on a special day--like Valentine’s Day. It’s incredibly touching to see what they write or dictate and some of their ideas might even surprise you a little!
